I am 35!

I started this post yesterday, yesterday when I was feeling wonderful and in control of my emotions.  It was going to say how I am embracing being 35. 

And then…

Tuesday mornings are choir mornings for our eldest.  He has to be at school at 7:15. We live 20 minutes away.  That is on the days where there is absolutely no traffic.  There is traffic every single morning.  We were late.  Being late make my tummy bubble.  This is not a post about my tummy bubbling.

Dropping the older two off at 7:25 meant we were 35 minutes early for our youngest to be dropped off at his playschool. If we are early we take a walk around the block, or blocks if we are that early.  The school is close to where we used to live.  I love that part of the world. 

Today as we walked we bumped into people we know.  They are younger than us.  Please note that. 

I am 35. 

This lovely family, who are super nice people, were parked in front of the ginormous house they are buying. 

I am 35. 

I realised as we spoke to them and I looked at their car and the car seats and their beautiful selves that I was not feeling the nicer emotions. 

As we said goodbye and continued walking I told my husband about the post I was going to write and how this had disrupted me. 

I have had time to process it. 

I am 35. 

We own very little, our car which was an answer to prayer that friends blessed us with, two surfboards, a broken bed, a chest of drawers, some pots, a camera, Lego, a mini trampoline, some cool kitchen stuff, two small carpets, too many DVDs, books (are there ever too many?), a few skateboards, our clothes,some other toys, junk. 

We are not on medical aid nor do we have medical insurance (the cheaper option).  We had planned to be by 35. We are both 35.

We have some debt (that is not a good point, but it is a point and part of this journey).

I am 35 and I am happy. 

I am also overwhelmed and very sure that I have sensory processing issues, but I am content. 

I would love for some things to change (I am not going to divulge them now), yet I have peace, mostly. 

At 35 I have come to realise that we each have to embrace our own journey. 

I have always been a little different.  I married a man who is a little different.  For years we have tried to fit in, I don’t think we ever will.  At 35, I believe that we are perfectly and wonderfully made. 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!"

Psalm 139:23-24

Even as I write this I feel unencumbered.  I feel a joy and a delight at the possibilities that lie before me and my family as we follow Jesus on this journey he has us on.

Did I tell you that gave myself a haircut?  It’s kinda lopsided, But I love it. 

What journey are you on?  Is it the journey you want to be on? I realise that for many of us, when we stand still and take a look at our lives, we are not where we thought we would be say 10 years go.  I had thought adventure, Emiel had thought adventure planting church in France.  Here's the thing, if the journey is with Jesus (and the people you love) then you will be in the sweet spot.  

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

This is me, coming our of the water!!!!!!!!

These are my strong, hobbit like feet that took me surfing...almost surfing.

Cowabunga dude.
Seriously though, I hope this find you well.  I know some of you aren't, I am praying for you. 

Much love
Philippa