Learn from us and don’t be stupid.

I had to ask my mom for money today, to buy a mutual friend a few items for a care package.  She is experiencing loss.  The care package would in no way heal the loss, but my sentiment was that the items in the package would offer comfort and show she is loved and that she is on our hearts. 

As we drove to my friend’s home one of our children asked why I was taking the “gift”.  The question had less to with the cause of my friend’s loss as the response to it.  It shocked me to realise that our children are unaccustomed to seeing us taking care packages, gifts or meals to people for reasons other than their birthdays. 

As we discussed the need to show love in this way, we explained how over the years we have allowed our lack to stop us from being generous.  We tried the parenting approach of “don’t be sucky like us” as we explained to them how our fixation on our lack took our focus off the person/people so much so, that we would neglect even to call or message. 

Unfortunately, due to a few bad decisions in times of hardship when we seriously lacked faith, our debt and the nature of our jobs has us living paycheck to paycheck.  I think, looking back to the early years of our marriage, we missed out on so much due to our stupidity (I am sorry, I don’t have another word for it).  The stupidity is not where we are financially, but rather our response to it. 

We will be married 11 year in December.  

I think many of you reading may be in the same boat we are, or maybe your lack looks a little different.  Maybe your lack is time, or social standing, education or the size of your house.  For some of you your lack is the lack of love you have experienced or are experiencing. 

Your people, the people around you, the beautiful, messy people God has entrusted to you, they need you.  They need all of your highs and your lows, your gifts and your lack.  I really believe that our lack will be turned around when we love others despite ourselves. 

The thing is, loving people is always going to cost us something.  It cost Father so much more then we will ever experience, yet He continues to pour out His love on us. 

People need to know we care for them.  We need to show it.  We need to bake cakes, write cards, send messages, make calls.  

To the people needing the love and care I am going to say something my mom always said to me, and she made me so mad when she said it so I understand if it makes you mad, “Be the friend you are needing to someone else needing a friend.”  She’s right though. 

As I end, take me super seriously as I say this, learn from us and don’t be stupid, don't let your lack stand in the way of you loving someone needing it. 

Much love

Philippa

PS you are awesome and I am glad that you are alive.