Sunday Sessions with Philippa

This is the post where I look back on the past week and see what I have learnt from it.  I realise that many of things I write about may not be relevant to you, but maybe what I am learning will help you on your journey to a fuller, freer life.  

·         My eldest turned 9

Yes, people, I am now the mother of a 9-year-old.  I am daily made aware of how he is growing and thinking and pushing boundaries.  For me to mother him in this new season of his life I too have to grow.  It is both a privilege and a challenge watching him become the man (very little man at this stage) that God is calling to be.  He is compassionate, thoughtful and sensitive, but there is a leadership in him that is starting to fight for its place.  As parents we have the joy and weighty responsibility to lead our children in the way they should go, to guide them, to mould them. 

·         Model that behavior you hope to see in your children (and those around you)

For some reason, we parents think that we can tell our children to behave a certain way while we behave the opposite way.  As mentioned before, in another post, Emiel and I are not tidy people, which stops me from getting too cross (insert: screaming like a banshee) with the children when they have chosen to live like pigs.  While that is a simple example, the way Emiel treats me models to his sons how to treat women and to his daughter how to expect to be treated.  Children will learn from our eating habits, our body image, our conflict management, our financial stewardship, our political views, our racial views.  While we consciously parent one way, we subconsciously parent another way too.  It is so important to make sure that you are aware of what you are modeling and what kind of people you are wanting your children to grow up to be.

·         Comparison will wreck your life

I battle with comparison, a lot, and because of that, I am usually very aware of it.  I remember, years ago, not being asked to take part in a fashion show our church then was hosting.  For a long time afterwards I fell into the pit of comparison, the girls who had taken part, were always prettier, thinner, better dressed, friendlier, more liked.  The more I felt that, the more unlikeable I became.  Fast forward to this past week, and the more mature, more aware me, is battling to find perspective.  I was feeling inept at work, emotionally strained and 2 of the accounts I follow on Instagram were starting to make me feel really bad about my life.  Let me clarify, the accounts had not come to life in some diabolical plot to destroy my life and honestly, neither one of the two beautiful people even know I exist, but comparison had crept in.  The funniest thing happened though, when I was deciding whether to unfollow these two accounts, I watched an Instastory of the one where she spoke about comparison and how people, like me, should get on with living their own lives. 

·         We have to stop being so judgemental!

Alexander, the birthday boy, had a cricket match this week.  He loves sports and we love watching him play.  There is a dad who is at every one of the matches we are at.  For years I have watched him interact with his son and I have judged his interaction.  You see, perfect me, has seen a father not praise, but continuously correct.  I have sat on my high pedestal and watched how disappointed he looks when his son does badly.  At this last game, I had a revelation of something, this dad is at the majority of his son’s games.  I realised that day, that I have no idea what the relationship is like between this father and his son, but I do know one thing, he was at that game in his work clothes supporting his son. 

I have learnt more, but I am tired, and Emiel, is gently snoring beside me. 

I hope you have a blessed week. 

If you are needing prayer for anything or to talk please don’t hesitate to pop me a mail.  My address is philippaliebenberg@gmail,com

Philippa