For the people who have had a horrible day

How do you survive the really horrible days? 

This is not the post that I have been intending to write, but after today and the last bunch of days it has to be written.

In April or so of this year I hit really low.  I think I was in depression, but I only sought help for it after I had experienced the worst of it. I had gone to see my doctor for other reasons, my health has been a mess for a while and I have a few womanly issues that cause issues, when she suggested I take anti-depressants.  What?  I think she realised that the words coming from her mouth confused me, when she explained that she had seen me up and down too often and the she felt I needed the extra “support” (OK, I don’t remember her exact words, but that was how I took it). She prescribed the meds as a preventative measure for future brain damage.  What?

Fast forward to today and the last little while where my own desire to grow as a person has me listening to Dr. Caroline Leaf’s podcast where she often speaks of how stress handled negatively has disastrous effects on the brain.   I personally like my brain.  It has served me well, when I have let it.  I value my ability to spell and think and create.  I have hated how I have allowed the weight of the world to wreck that ability. 

This picture has little to do with my ability to spell, and a lot to do with surviving a horrible day.

So, if we can get back to my original question and amend it, how do we continue to live fully when we have really horrible days?

Today I was faced with life situations I found too hard to bear, mind you this all happened in my morning at work.  When I got home my husband didn’t ask the right question at the right time, so I put myself to bed.  My youngest crawled over me at a point, I said hi.  I slept as I do when I find things a bit too much. 

Would you believe that since this morning my ability to spell a word has disintegrated (thank you spell-check for saving this post) to a mushy slushy bowl of yuck?

So, how do we live/ abide/ grow when we have really horrible days?

Here are my thoughts:

• ·         Take a walk.  There is nothing more freeing to the mind then to get it outside away from the too much.  My walk today may have only been across a field to buy treats for my younger two children, but the sky was beautiful and the grass swayed in the breeze and there were the most delicate wild flowers hidden close to the earth.  My two-almost three-year-old, who is most definitely able to walk when it is not convenient, wanted to mold his body against mine and be carried until I handed him to his father.  It also helps to get the blood flowing.
• ·         Dream.  We need to dream.  I honestly don’t know how to better explain this to you.
• ·         Laugh.  Find something to laugh about and genuinely laugh, it is so good for the brain.  It is also especially helpful when trying to appear approachable. 
• ·         Buy someone a chocolate or a meal or pay for their groceries.  You usually have to spend a little time being aware of the people around you in the grocery store.  It helps to take the focus off you and your day to notice the teenager buying a bottle of soda or the granny or the mom.   
• ·         Love your people.  I am insanely privileged to be married to my main squeeze who today put up with me and allowed me space and time and chocolate.  I am also the mother of three of the most amazing kidlets ever who need love as they need food.
• ·         Break a few of your own rules (that won’t hurt anyone), like grammar rules and staying up late rules and ordering pizza for supper when pizza for supper on a weekday when you have a budget is not part of the plan.
• ·         Release.  Find a way to take your day and release it.  Let it go. Oh Elsa…
• ·         Acknowledge. Acknowledge your humanness, your feebleness and that in the whole swing things you need Father to come along side you to full in the gaping holes.  My scripture for this last bunch of days has been “For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1 vs 7. It has been a war cry and anthem and a cry out to Father.

We will experience horrible days and dry seasons and loss, the way we respond determines the quality of our lives.  I personally want to live and to be able to spell and remember things. 

I write this with much love and hope 

Philippa