I want to live in the Sonshine
I was going to write a Sunday Sessions post and then I
changed my mind.
The last two weeks have been rough and I have been feeling
bleak. I was devastated to lose my
grandmother and life has been a little too real of late. And then my husband received a glorious Boss’
Appreciation Day gift, which included the album “How Can It Be” by Lauren
Daigle (we have been loving her new album “Look Up Child”, which my husband had
excitedly shared with his secretaries.)
I think it was on the second day of listening through the album that I took
note of these words:
“When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You”
I have been wrestling with my lack of consistency in my
blogging and my inability to write certain posts. Somewhere in the realm of yesterday I
realised that I have been trying to find my blogging voice. I have been so weary of writing too many
posts on grief or loss, but this year has been really difficult for me. I have experienced deep lows and have had to
work incredibly hard to see the beauty, I know that I am not alone, but do I
spend my days writing on suicide and mental health? I have wanted my blog to be
lighter, friendlier, more upbeat…
One of the posts I have wanted to write would have been
titled “How to get over yourself”. I
think my writer’s block may have been made worse by the fear that no-one would
read post with a title like that. It was
going to have really insightful, helpful points, but I could see you battling with
the idea of having to get over yourself and you may have missed the purpose of
the post.
I believe so many of us are living stunted half-lives and
that full, beautiful glorious lives come just at the other side of taking our
eyes off the mountain and focusing them on Him.
Please know that I am not diminishing your mountain, I know
it is real and know that is causing you grief.
I preached a sermon this morning that had a lot to with what
I am saying here. I prayed for people
who were desperate. I encouraged the
church to fully trust Father and as we got home the weight of some of the things
we have been facing felt crushingly heavy.
The sense of overwhelming was made worse when a phone call brought to
reality that people we love are hurting and we can do nothing about it. And then it hit me, that my mountain was in
the way of real joy in my home.
What are my children going to remember of this
time, the heaviness, the burden, the sorrow, the shadow, or are they going to remember
the love, the joy, the laughter, the Sonshine?
Why do we need to take our eyes off our mountains/ get over ourselves?
The truth is, while we will live abundant, glorious lives out of the shadow of
mountains, we also see more clearly when we are not so focused on everything that
is wrong. There are so many broken,
hurting people, some of them are your people, the people who you are supposed
to see and to love, to nurture, to teach to live in the Sonshine.
Are you willing to take your eyes off yourself for the moment,
off the mess, the shame, the worry, the loss, the fear, the abuse, the hunger,
the comfort and to turn your eyes to Jesus?
I often tell our church that while Salvation may be your
ticket to Heaven, it is not going to save you from life happening, and if easy
and free from worry is all you are hoping for you might want to ask for a
refund. Don’t worry, there are some
shocked faces when I say that. I don’t
say it to shock though, I say because there is so much more to this journey and
I truly believe that we, you and I, will only experience the exhilaration of
the adventure if we are willing to trust the Guide, wherever He leads.
With love
Philippa
PS if you are needing prayer, you are welcome to pop me a
mail.
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